My Fire Baby

My daughter, 9 months old as of today, is remarkably passionate. I’ve never known such a fiery, determined little wildling. I’m not surprised at her intense personality; she’s a Leo after all, a fire sign known for its confidence, ambition, stubbornness and loyalty. I’m just amazed at how serious she can get when she’s working on something, but then will be laughing hysterically moments afterword at some small thing amusing to her–often when she realizes that we’re in a peek-a-boo type position, our version of peek-a-boo that is, more of a quick hide-and-seek game I guess.

I have memories of my husband and I analyzing and discussing all of the zodiac signs when Fae was just a thought. And why not use those signs as a guide for when to begin trying to conceive. It lent the feeling of a little control. And it was fun to speculate upon what our child would be like–perhaps more like me, maybe him, but under the influence of this star, or that planet. It’s not that we necessarily wanted to choose her sign; it was more because it was a way for us to feel involved, to imagine how she may possibly act and think. It also helped me to move through the anxiety of the month-to-month process more confidently. It ended up taking five cycles, a little longer than I had expected. Each time I wasn’t pregnant, I just kept it in my mind that she just wasn’t that sign, and maybe the next one instead.

When we found out that I was pregnant, we were excited to be having, most likely, a fire-sign baby. A fire baby would, after all, complement my water personality and Jared’s air–he being a Libra, and me a Scorpio. We both have a lot of passion, and my baby does too–though perhaps she’ll have an easier time using it, given the natural spark in fire. Mine’s always run so deep and twisted so secretly into other emotions that it’s not always been easy for me to be open. And Jared’s always struggled to stay more grounded, occasionally feeling thrown nervously, however passionately, into the air. But I’m still so excited about what we’ve seen of this in Fae’s fiery personality.

It amazes me how Fae is the same little girl that we saw on my ultrasound, running her legs so strongly and determinedly up the side of my womb, and then grazing her hand and arm along her head with so much grace (much like a cat, actually). People sometimes say that she’s changed so much, but I have to disagree. She’s grown, yes, but she’s still the same little girl I’ve known for the past year and a half: sweet, fiery, beautiful, wild.

Right now Fae is playing her little game where she attemps to bite my finger with her one bottom tooth, I yell “Ah!” and then she laughs.

6 responses to “My Fire Baby

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