My beautiful little wildling turned one. We had a small gathering at a local park that overlooks the twin mountain peaks of the next town over–where I, and my husband, grew up. It was a sweet party with close family and friends, and I felt so overwhelmingly proud of Fae, proud of the little girl that she’s been, and become.
When I think back to the evening of her birth I can’t keep my eyes from watering. She was perfect, my little miracle, and she marked the most important moment of my life.
Since 5:55pm on August 16th, 2011, I’ve felt my absolute true self. My transition into motherhood filled me with so much power and assurity, and it gave me my new, solid family. Jared and I were talking about our relationship last night on our evening walk, while Fae was riding on my back with calm, dangling legs. We’re just so grateful for our tight bond. And Fae’s given us so much ambition, purpose, and clarity. We’ve decided upon what we want out of life (and how we’re going to live it), and we’ve, most importantly, been listening to our hearts–we’ve been (and are learning to be even more) aware.
Fae’s turning 13 months in a few days. And, as I’ve said before, I’m amazed by her. To us, she’s brilliant. She notices everything, is full of expressions, words, games. She’s radiant. And I miss her when I wake up before her in the morning. I lie there, thinking, waiting for her to open her eyes and smile. It all sounds so romanticized, exaggerated, but it’s truth. I couldn’t be more proud of her.
Fia, our kitty, is resting at my feet. And I love how her fluffy fawn-colored fur feels against my skin, especially this time of year, with the cool air blowing in through the open window. Fae is nap-nursing on my lap wearing the first wool soaker that I made, which is sewn from one of her Daddy’s sweaters.
Last night in our family bed, after Fae had been asleep, I got up for a sip of water, and while I was out of the room she stirred about. Jared comforted her, and I heard her quietly, and calmly, say “Dada” in the dark, just noticing that it was him, and being pleased with that. It was precious.