Since having Hawk, I’m realizing that I can’t seem to speak of one child without speaking of the other. Each day I’m finding more similarities and differences between my new son and my daughter. I find the ways in which they’re alike sweet, and I’m curious about the ways in which they’ll differ.
My family feels so solid to me. My husband and I have had a strong relationship for a long enough time now that we’ve created a sturdy ground for our family to flourish upon. We have our similar interests, tangled with a few opposite traits, twisted together with our uncanny way of thinking so similarly. Our children each add a certain dimension to our family that we couldn’t have dreamed up or planned. Fae’s wild-ness, sense-of-humor, tenacity, and willful nature are chiseled into our family’s demeanor. Hawk, still so brand new, is already marking his place, too.
Hawk has an adorable habit of finding my hair to hold in his fists when he needs to feel secure. After a crying spell, on walks in our little city neighborhood, or when he’s falling asleep in my arms, he’ll be grasping my hair with a calm, peaceful look on his face.
He doesn’t like being in the car seat, just as Fae didn’t. We seem to have a family trait of not wanting to be strapped down.
I’m amazed at well Hawk can nap–on his own (compared to Fae at least). After Fae only being able to nap on me (waking up if I put her down and not going back to sleep–even while back in my arms), it is so nice to be able to put Hawk down for a nap–either already asleep, or just calm and tired enough to fall asleep on his own. It didn’t start off that way. I’d lie him down on his back or his side and he’d either startle himself awake after a short bit, or just seem to wake feeling confused that my body wasn’t there. I also tried swaddling him–which worked a couple of times–but he soon didn’t enjoy being constricted. I then tried lying him on his belly–contrary to modern day’s advice, but thanks to my mom’s–and he began to nap. He’ll even wake up a few times during his nap and snuggle himself back to sleep–not at all feeling unsecure without me. I know that it’s said to only allow babies to sleep on their backs, but how can I force something that seems so uncomfortable (and un-natural) for my baby?
Hawk likes the sheepskin, which I didn’t have when Fae was an infant but would have loved. I may like it even more than he does–it’s so incredibly soft and beautiful! But Hawk certainly does enjoy lying on it–Fae, too.
I’ve caught a couple of giggles from him. He’s been giggling, smiling, and pouting in his dreams since he was born. But, a week or so ago, after he had been upset, I noticed him looking up into the corner of the room smiling, and then he giggled. He moved his eyes around a little as if watching something–I could see nothing–and he was very amused and happy. I then got a chill–probably from wondering what he saw that I couldn’t. It may have just been the corner of the room that made him laugh, but whatever it was, I was thankful for the help of cheering him up. Who knows–I wouldn’t be surprised at all if it was a faerie of some sort flying about, or beautiful waves of brilliant light, or his grandfather or great-pepere–even an angel. It doesn’t matter. My mind is so open from experiences that I’ve had in the past. If he can see into another realm I’m not at all surprised. (And then it happened again a couple of days ago, looking at the wall.)